After a couple of downer days, this morning left me searching for rainbows and trying to focus on the good stuff. Right before therapy I looked over to find Sam had picked up a wooden block on his own and was holding it above him examining all the sides with the different pictures and letters. It was a big step.. and I felt so happy in that moment. He has been making progress lately with his hands and body but most of the things he has been holding and picking up were more ring like or larger rattle type toys. This movement required a little more dexterity of his fingers and he held it in such a stable manner that I could see he was proud of himself.
He worked hard in therapy doing developmental play before he started to send out the messages with his body that we had hit the limit. It was around that time that he seemed to lock his gaze on something and the therapist could not gain his attention for a short moment. I could tell she wondered if it was a focal seizure and then later she mentioned that concern to me. It was just a short moment but I felt this lightening bolt to my rainbow of a mood.. I started worrying as I realized I was a little later in giving his P5P dose this morning..was that why or was it being so tired or was it nothing at all. I let it go and as I went on with my morning I found myself realizing that I was not going to let that moment "steal my joy" as a wise woman once told me. I watched Sofie have a better day at gymnastics than last week, tumbling and balancing away with a smile. I enjoyed a nice lunch around the coffee table with my sweet mom and caught up with a friend from Gainesville on the phone. Today is not going to be shot with worry.