Saturday, November 27, 2010

Gobble Gobble

Thanksgiving has never been such a time of reflection and thanks for me as it was this year. I am so blessed by wonderful children and a most loving husband. I was particularly thankful thursday for Sam turning the corner on his illness and making a rebound. He slept all morning while we scurried around prepping for 14 person dinner and awoke as everyone arrived. At one point my mom and I thought he might have had a seizure but it was just because we could not get his attention as he was laying in his crib. Visiting with family, he was in great spirits and had tolerated a couple normal feedings of milk.. finally moving off the pedialyte to the millk. He spent about an hour of full busy activity and then basically crashed for the rest of the day.. it took alot of energy for him but he loved seeing all the relatives. I was further blessed  not to have to cook the bird this year.. my mother in law did the honors on that one. We had a great visit with everyone!

Yesterday afternoon was spent decorating with my mom with Alabama football on the TV and chili on the stove. A cold front had come through and so all in one day we went from 70s and 80s to the 30s which made it feel all the more fitting to do our Christmas decorating! The girls were fully of silliness as they could not wait to find the nutcracker box. Nutcrackers are their absolute favorite decoration at Christmas. As I drove my mom home last night I thought about how very very blessed we are that she is here with us... she has overcome soo much. I could not have gotten through this year without her.

Late afternoon we had a call that nearly threatened those good feelings as it was the home health company calling to say that they found out our insurance policy only covers up to $2500 per year of home health. Even as our policy has a $5 million lifetime limit.. not much covers help at home with an involved child. I had been praying so hard about this and it just feels like we can't find a way to make anything work in our favor. The company said full time home health would be about $180k per year which is nothing in relation to what is spent in an ICU at about $50 -100k per week and Sam has been in the ICU or NICU 5 times and for up to 3 months of his little life. They have tons of other infant patients that get full time nursing fully paid by medicaid. I just feel sick about everything. I don't know what to do differently to find the solutions. I am out of ideas and just plain tired. I need to work as we have been hit like a truck by this medical stuff and my not being able to aid in bringing in additional income. I just have to trust God to help us find the answers.

That evening we also had a wonderful visit from our good friends, the Riddle family. Greg was one of my closest friends from high school and helped bring Jason and I together in 9th grade... ahh that was soo long ago. They have a new baby girl and she was absolutely adorable. The babies got to meet each other and Sam was quickly entranced by lovely little Lillian. He wanted to touch her face and pull her to him. It was so sweet! He really has met few babies and it was so neat seeing his eyes dance at watching her up close. I am so thankful for good friends!

So today we are finishing up the decorations and hopefully Sam has a low key day so he has energy for tonight. We are planning to have some good friends over for a little potluck get together. Should be a good time. I can't recall the last time we had anyone over besides family before this week. It has been a while as we have been hermit crabs I guess. Prayers for all those families experiencing illness or a loss in their families during these holidays. Even with all the reasons to find joy, it can be a very hard time of year for many people.    

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