Friday, October 22, 2010

Wheels down..

We are home! Three beautiful words I always take for granted. I could not update the blog last night as we had to stay in the hospital for monitering post op, an unexpected but yet not unexpected turn of events. He just had some bradycardia and dsats following surgery, all ones that he recovered from on his own but when coupled with a little noisy breathing, his anesthesiologist thought it safer to have us stay the night. Of course he settled down after that and had a pretty uneventful evening. We took an angel flight back here this afternoon with our same pilot from before - what true angels the people of angel flight really are!!

Upon walking up our front steps to the house, Jason tried to prepare me for the craziness of a house turned on end from a dad trying to survive with 2 little girls on his own...wowsa.. I had to just laugh. It really was comical because I thought things were a bit crazy and disorganized the day we had to suddenly go but I never imagined the potential of a couple stressful weeks. Ha I am excited to get us back in tip top shape and that effort may be a good distraction from the agony of waiting for test results over this next 6 weeks. Sam is managing his pain well, not requiring much of the loratab meds prescribed. He is just happy to be home as was evidenced in the smile he gave his dad. We may still have a pacmaker in his future if we can't manage things on this medication but for now we are glad he did not have to endure the recovery from that procedure.

God sent us a true gaurdian while in Atlanta with the kindness and assistance of our friend Jenni. I also could not have made it out of here and over there without Robin's help. My inlaws and my mom and sister were a HUGE help with our girls and Jason could never have managed without them. The prayers from home and family far away were as always the medicine we needed to stay strong and keep up our stamina. As I have experienced before, I met families of amazing courage and faith within the roanald mcdonald house walls. If you are looking for a charity that impacts lives in a direct and intense manner.. it is this organization and the angel flight organization. We have already been told by both that they will help us in the months to come after our results come back when we have to return for followup. In the mean time.. we will be guarding Samuel's health and working on how to utilize his therapy best.

The last thing I wanted to include was a few lines. This is not really a poem per se but rather a stream of consciousness of the words that came to me in reflection during the raw periods of waiting for Sam to come out of surgery.

Fresh from God, struggling..saving.

flooding pain
pounding chest
humming pump
endless time, ticking..ticking

failing nerves
swirling gut
racing mind
many questions, reeling..reeling

healing prayers
finding grace
lifting hope
hard decisions, pacing..pacing

waking eyes
trembling body
trusting arms
little warrior, fighting..fighting

giving thanks
growing power
cleansing peace
Gift from God,

These are just some words that I found myself jotting down to get out all the stuff that was filling my head. This has easily been the most challenging time for me to deal with emotionally but I think our family is going to ride out this storm and look back stronger on the journey. For now we are just looking ahead.. but not too far ahead. :)

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